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Published: Fri, 02 Feb 2018
Divorce rates and the reasons for it
Divorce is one of the most controversial issues we have today. As time goes by, the divorce rate seems to be increasing rapidly worldwide. This results into revolutionary change where it came to the point where it has become a part of people’s way of life. People became aware of their own responsibilities and own needs which made an impact about the way the family leads. One hindrance of divorce is the presence of the children, but if the parents can be happier with divorce, then the children can be fine as well. For some people, divorce is not the answer and that, divorce is wrong. It might have a lot of downsides; however, having a divorce has plenty of advantages that can benefit a family as well.
Divorce used to be a very rare occurrence in our history. It became common during the first sixty years of the twentieth century, but it was hardly common. During the late 1950s, people began to change their views about their life’s needs and obligations which results into a higher divorce rate after 1960. The rate doubled and continued to grow until early 1980s. After the 1980s, however, the attention over divorce has lowered because of other issues like abortion, illegitimacy, and homosexuality which are also methods that destroy a family. Politicians avoided the issues about divorce because they did not want to encourage the people about it which can result into a bigger issue. According to the Republicans and Democrats, ‘the consequences [of divorce] are far too politically risky.’ The lack of attention about it didn’t help but instead, it allowed people to realize that divorce is a matter of individual choice; it doesn’t impose any cost or consequences to others. In the following decades, higher level of divorce took place, even until now, the increasing rate of divorce is still present (Whitehead 296-300).
A bad marriage is one of the major reasons why the divorce rate is so high. Marriages don’t always turn out to be happy and blissful. Conflicts happen, things may go wrong, and failed expectations can turn a marriage into a bad one. Many people believe that there are a lot of ways to fix a bad marriage. However, sometimes things just do not work out no matter how hard people try. What is the point of trying when both married people already believe that it will not work? Is it still worth trying? Critics argued that a bad marriage might end up doing more harm than good to the family; therefore, a divorce is a best way. It may be not acceptable under religious views but why should a couple still stay together when they both know that the best thing to do is to separate? Sometimes, people have no other choice but to get out. James Welsh says that, ‘sometimes, despite the best efforts and intentions on the part of a person, his or her married life may turn out to be a miserable short story, threatening to end up in disaster and sorrow. In such a situation, a divorce gives an individual the much-coveted chance to begin again with a clean slate and start a fresh chapter in life’ (Advantages of Divorce). By this, both individuals can be able to start a new life and be happy again.
Divorce can also be a good choice for the sake their children. It is not good for the children to see their parents quarrel every time and not in a good situation. According to Kathleen Bartlett, dean of the Duke University Law School and a family law expert, ‘staying together ‘for the sake of the children’ often does more harm than good. For instance, they say, a high-conflict marriage where both spouses are constantly fighting is generally worse for a child than a divorce’ (Children and Divorce: Does divorce turn children into troubled adults?). Children are not better off if their parents remain in a bad marriage instead of divorcing. Experts says that parents in troubled marriage must divorce rather than raise the children in a household where there is full of anger and tension. If there is a lot of hate inside the household, how can a child concentrate in his or her studies? Isn’t it better if a child will grow up in a nice and silent household where no tensions are taking place? Divorce indeed hurt children; however, if it is for the better of the entire family, then the children may understand. There will be a point in their lives where they will realize why their parents separated. Both parents should still be responsible for their children. They should explain because their children need their reasons to understand.
Children in a divorce family can be better with the guidance of their parents. Even though parents are separated, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be good parents anymore. They should maintain their good relationships to their children. The parents should still be there for their children whenever their attentions are needed. By this, even if the parents are divorced, children’s life will not shatter and they can still have a better life knowing that both their parents still care about them. Joyce Ladner, a senior fellow in government studies at the Brookings Institution, says that ‘It’s clear that the extent to which a child adjusts to life after divorce depends on just how well parents handle their breakup in relation to that child.’ Parents should reassure that their children are not the reason for their divorce and even though they are not together anymore, they still love them and they will still there for them all the time (Children and Divorce: What can be done to help children of divorce?).
Divorce can be a benefit to all because not only the conflict inside the household will stop; it will also raise the stress level lower for both parties. Children doesn’t deserve being in a household with constant arguing and fighting. And if both parents can make their child accept the separation, the children might find it nice to see their parents happy. Divorce hurts everyone in the family; however, if both parties can handle it very well, there’s a high chance that it can be better for everyone.
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